Fear is the single biggest thing that holds us back.
Overcoming fear is an essential step in achieving our goals and dreams.
“Do the thing you fear and the
death of fear is certain.” – Ralph
Waldo Emerson
It’s one of most common reasons people
procrastinate on taking action toward their goals.
We fear failure, or rejection, or being
embarrassed, or disappointing or angering other people, or getting hurt. So we play it safe and avoid taking risks or trying new things.
Fear is natural. But where does it come from?
The answer is that it comes from US – from our own minds and imagination. it’s important to remember that, as humans, we’ve evolved to the stage where almost all of our fears are now self-created.
We scare ourselves by imagining negative
outcomes to any activities we pursue or
experience. But just because we imagine these things happening, that doesn’t mean they Will happen, or that they will be as painful as we think.
That’s why psychologists like to say that fear
stands for “ Fantasized Experiences Appearing Real.”
Because fear is all about what MIGHT happen –not what WILL happen.
Overcoming Fear
The good news is, since we are the root source of our fears, that means we have the power to overcome them.
Instead of allowing ourselves to imagine a worst-case scenario and be a victim of our fears, we can take control of our own minds and consciously decide to visualize a best-selling scenario instead.
Here’s a simple exercise to help you gain more control over your fears – and show you how unfounded they really are.
Make a List of the Things You Are Afraid to Do
These are not things you are afraid of, such as spiders, but instead, the things you are afraid to
do, such as skydiving.
Your list might include things such as: leaving my
job, going back to school, talking to my spouse
about our relationship, asking for a raise, and so
on.
Once you have completed your list, restate each
fear in the following format:
I want to ____, and I scare myself by imagining ____.
For example:
I want to start my own business, and I scare myself
by imagining that I would go bankrupt and lose my
house.
Or:
I want to talk to my husband about our relationship,
and I scare myself by imagining that if he knew how I
really felt and what I really wanted, he would leave
me.
By completing this statement for all of the things
we are afraid to do, you can see how you are the
one creating your fears by imagining negative
outcomes in the future.
Take More Control Over Fears
I want you to take the last part of that statement –
the fearful outcome you imagined – and
transform it into something positive.
For example:
“Instead of scaring myself by imagining that I will go
bankrupt and lose my house, I will work hard to do
whatever it takes to make my business a success.”
Or:
“Instead of scaring myself by imagining that my
husband will leave me, I will work with him to
cultivate greater love and intimacy in our
relationship.”
Do you see how each of these statements flips the
fear on its head and transforms it into a
powerful positive vision?
I encourage you to try this for yourself – and
transform all of your fears into empowering
visions of success!
7 Strategies to Move Past Fears
After you complete this exercise, you will still
experience fear from time to time. It’s part of
being human. But to help you in the process of
overcoming fear faster, I have seven strategies to
share with you today:
1. Become More Aware of Your Thoughts
Thoughts produce emotions – so if you want to
change how you feel, change your thoughts.
Whenever you feel fear, retrace your mental
steps and observe what you were thinking.
What thoughts led to your feelings of fear? Once
you identify them, it will be easier to resolve
them.
2. Choose More Positive Thoughts
You can’t rid yourself of negative thoughts
simply by not thinking them. The Law of
Replacement dictates that you can’t replace
something with nothing – you have to replace it
with something else.
So when you notice yourself experiencing a
negative, fear-producing thought, replace it with
a positive thought instead – like I did in the
exercise I just showed you.
For example, if you want to become a best-selling
author, be on the lookout for thoughts like, “ What
if publishers reject my manuscript? ”
Instead, visualize what will happen when a
publisher DOES accept your manuscript and
agrees to bring your book to market.
3. Notice the Physical Effects of Fearful
Thoughts
Observe the physical sensations you experience
when you think a fearful thought. You may feel
fear as a sinking feeling in your stomach, a
tightening in your shoulders and chest, or an
elevated heart rate.
Notice what you feel and then consciously
replace them with sensations you’d rather be
experiencing.
Focus on how positive emotions, such as peace
and joy, show up your body – as a rush of
warmth or a tingle of delight. Imagine yourself
experiencing those sensations instead, and your
fears will be neutralized.
4. Use Positive Affirmations
Utilize affirmations to create a more positive,
success-oriented mindset. Affirmations are
powerful statements that describe the reality you
want to create – and they are a powerful antidote
to fear.
Here’s how they work: Imagine the reality you
would like to create then form a positive
statement that describes it as already being
achieved. For example: “I am so happy and
grateful now that I am a New York Times bestselling
author.”
By stating it as already being achieved, you
create a tension between what you are saying
and experiencing physically, and what your mind
knows to be true.
Your subconscious doesn’t like this tension and
will begin to work overtime to resolve it,
prompting you to take more action and become
more aware of resources that will help you
achieve your goal.
As you practice your daily affirmations, you may
find yourself thinking, “What if this doesn’t work?”
If that happens, I encourage you to ask yourself
instead,
“What if this does work?”
“Why will this work?”
“How will it work?”
By shifting your questions to focus more on
action and solutions, you will find it easier to
maintain your forward momentum.
5. Charge Your Visualizations with
Powerful Positive Emotions
Take this affirmation for example:
“ I am so happy and grateful now that I am a New
York Times bestselling author.”
When you include a positive emotion in the
statement – such as happiness or gratitude – you
open yourself to experiencing that emotion in
your body, giving your affirmation far more
impact.
Just as the emotion of fear can paralyze you,
intense positive emotions can motivate you
toward greater success.
6. Be Realistic About Risk
A practical – and often overlooked – strategy for
overcoming fear is to make sure you’re not
risking more than you can afford to lose.
To grow and achieve greater success, you have to
risk something. Just make sure that you can bear
the loss if you don’t succeed the first time. My
advice is to begin by taking on smaller challenges
and work your way up.
If you want to start your business but you need a
guaranteed income each month to pay your
mortgage and stay out of debt, maybe run your
business as a side gig until you have enough
clients to quit your job for good.
If you’re starting your first job in sales, call on
prospects or customers who will be the easiest to
sell to. If you’re eager to take on new
responsibilities at work, start by asking to do
parts of a project you’re interested in.
If you want to run a marathon, start slowly with a
simple “couch to 5K” app. Master the skills you
need to learn, move through your fears, and then
take on bigger challenges.
7. Celebrate Your Successes
You’ve overcome countless fears to become the
person you are today, whether it was learning to
ride a bike, driving a car, or kissing someone you
liked for the first time. Taking risks and opening
yourself to new experiences is always a little
scary.
But when you face your fears and take action
anyway, you build up confidence in your
abilities.
The situation you’re facing now and how your
fear is manifesting may be different than what
you’ve experienced in the past, but you already
know how to overcome your fears. You’ve spent a
lifetime doing it! So I encourage you to follow
Emerson’s advice and do the thing you fear.
It is the best possible way to grow as a person
and achieve more success in life. Every
successful person I know has been willing to take
a leap of faith even though they were afraid.
Because they knew that if they didn’t act, the
opportunity would pass them by.
Recognize Fear For What It Is: a mental trick
your ego uses to protect you from the negative
outcomes it imagines. You create your fear and
you have the power to dissolve it as well.
Think about something that you’re afraid to do.
Now replace that fear with:
I want to ____, and I scare myself by imagining ____.
Then transform the second part of that statement
into a more positive outcome by saying,
“Instead of scaring myself by imagining ____, I will
____.
Repeat that to yourself a few times and see how
you feel.
Learn how to reclaim your happiness and reach
your goals without feeling stress with my Positive
Thinking Guide . Discover how to overcome
negative thoughts and feelings with ease.
How are you overcoming fear today? I challenge
you to do something that scares you today. Do
you have any questions or comments? If so, leave
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