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A famous Yiddish proverb says that ‘’Man plans, god laughs’’ [Mann traoch, Gott lauch]
Research shows that one’s sense of control over lifer is a major factor for psychological well-being.
But if ‘’Man plans, god laughs’’ doesn’t it mean we have no control at all?
If we can’t control others behavior, thoughts, and feeling, the forces of nature, traffic, the news- how can we get any sense of control over life.
The answer of course, is that we have full control over our own action, thoughts, and feelings. When you are on the road, you cannot control other drivers or unexpected oil puddles and potholes, but you can control the bike.
This at first seems like an obvious statement, but think more and you’d realize its not trivial at all. Its always easier to point at others and at circumstantial factors than it is to assume real responsibility.
It always seems easier to change other people
and to change reality than to take responsibility, but it
never is.
"I don't know why this is happening, I started stealing because my dad did not buy me Candy when I was 5,
Maybe it's the government that is making me fail,
Oh! It's my family etc."
An irresponsible man is very skillful at giving excuses and playing the blame game.
But we are quick to forget that for every reason we bring as an excuse there are hundreds of people out there who faced the same circumstances and succeeded.
Lots of people have overcome the so called limiting factors. So everything around you can’t be the real problem.
When a company is having issues we hold the C,E.O [and his team] because everything rises and falls on leadership. Also the passengers blame the driver when the vehicle is going the wrong direction or when he's driving roughly.
But why is it that in our lives the opposite seems to be the case?
When things are not going well we transfer the responsibility to others, we start playing blame game. Its because we are irresponsible, it has to be someone else’s fault but not yours. Everyone is wrong except you. And we are surprised why we are not making progress.
The truth remains that you are the CEO and driver of your life, you determine the course which your life will follow, and you should be held responsible for what happens in your life.
I hear people use these words “you make me sick, you make me angry.”
Really, someone made you sick and angry? No! He said something and you made the choice to be angry. There are people worse things have been said to but chose to act differently.
My dear grow up! No one is responsible for how you feel, think or act!
Have you ever asked yourself, what could I have done differently?
I know stuffs happen that look beyond our control. But the bottom line is no matter what happens we have the power to make our choices. We are being powerful when we take responsibility, Taking 100% responsibility means you are fully in charge.
Yeah! This is my life! This is my stuff! I’m going to deal with it, I’m going to get through this.
Crying, being anxious and playing blame game has never helped anyone. Instead it renders you powerless the more.
Stop giving your power away to People, Situations, and Economy etc
Have you ever asked yourself these questions?
- What have I been thinking?
- What have I been saying?
- What have I given myself to?
- What are my habits, beliefs?
- What am I conscious of?
Research shows that your Consciousness creates your reality.
Its time to stop looking outside yourself for the answers to why you haven’t created the life and result you want for it is you who creates the quality of the life you lead and the result you produce.
Most things we experience in life are a product of what we are on the inside.
Have you really paid attention to your
- Words you speak
- Images you visualize
- Actions you take
How you use these things determine everything you experience.
Life is lived intentionally!
Don’t allow things just happen to you!
Don’t sit down there crying, Get up and take charge! You are the CEO of your life!
Next time you start complaining about others or about
“tough luck” try this simple exercise: write five things
you can do that are within your full control on a piece of
paper. Then select one and act on it. It works for me
every time. And always remember that things you can’t
control can also work in your favor.
A singer said,
“And life has a funny way of helping you out when
You think everything’s gone wrong and everything blows
up In your face”
Footnote:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/confessions-techie/201009/take-responsibility
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